Test Result: A+

Do french fries take tests? If so, the truffle fries at Earl’s Test Kitchen get an A+.

Earl’s Test Kitchen in Vancouver is a great place to go if you want a burger. And to go deaf. It was so loud in there from all the people talking that I couldn’t hear myself think (mum couldn’t hear me think, either). Earl’s is located right on Hornby Street, which was close enough to walk to from our hotel. Earl’s Test Kitchen is different from Earl’s Kitchen. E.T.K is where the chefs try out recipes with the public in one restaurant before releasing it to the other Earl’s Kitchens.

Mum and I walked in one night and in seconds we were seated. Even though there was a stadium’s worth of people, there were still many tables left, because this place is huge! I ordered a hamburger with onions, bacon, lettuce, tomato, ketchup and mustard with a side of truffle fries. The burger was very juicy and it was so big I wasn’t sure how to fit it in my mouth. After I widened my mouth I took an enormous bite.  That burger was not “bite sized”. It was “byte sized” (byte is a mathematical word meaning a million).

Anyway, there was just the right amount of bacon, and it was laid out evenly so that the strips covered ALL of the inside of the burger. Not just a little bit. Don’t you just hate it when chefs put your burger’s bacon in a T-shape inside, and when you take a bite you don’t always end up with bacon in your mouth? This thing was piled with bacon. It was perfect. Here is a bacon haiku by me, Murphy:

You’re beautiful,

You are so salty and good,

You are my bacon.

Do you know how much fun it is to write poems about unhealthy foods? On that matter, I still can’t believe that the World Health Organization says that bacon is bad for you.

Back to the story. I looked down at my little bowl of fries. So cute. That’s when I ate them. That sounds so cruel: I called them cute, and then I ate them, but possessing cute fries in my belly makes me happy. My tongue exploded in a flavor blast of saltiness, truffle oil, and a great feeling of “the underground” of the earth (if you know what I mean). My first thought was that truffle oil tasted weird, but I took another fry, and another one, another one, another one. I did eat a whole lot of them. Then I started downing them two at a time. I was thinking “These are great!” until I started feeling really sick from eating so much truffle oil.

Looking back on this experience I admit I should have stopped at the “feeling sick” part, but they were the best fries I had ever had. In the history of ever. So I kept eating. When dinner was over and we were back at the hotel I immediately sunk into my bed, and closed my eyes for one second, thinking to myself about how great those fries where, and then I fell aslee…zzzzzzzzzz.

Tips: Don’t eat your fries two at a time… even if they are amazing

Rating: 9.999/10

4 thoughts on “Test Result: A+

  1. Truffle fries are good but let’s talk about bacon. We all love bacon. We just do.

    There was almost a riot yesterday morning in the food line up at the resort as they’d run out of bacon. Hard to believe but these ladies were ready to fight for the last morsel of bacon.

    How can this tasty piece of goodness be so bad for you?

    Like

  2. Love it Henry! Didn’t know about the test kitchen. Will definitely have to check it out. Now I have a craving for fries!! Xo, Aunty Katy🍟💛

    Like

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